Em was not ok. She knew that life and death were in the power of the tongue, and that we speak things into existence– so she didn’t say much. She wasn’t sure whether or not Satan could read her thoughts or words. She did, however, believe that autocorrect was of the devil, tempting people everywhere to not learn how to spell.

You could say her address was 6 Flags St., her life a perpetual rollercoaster of moodiness and sensitivity it seemed. She didn’t consider herself suicidal. Sometimes she just really wouldn’t mind not being here. Whenever she heard that someone had died she wondered why God didn’t choose her instead. She felt like no one would notice, it wouldn’t really have an impact. During the pandemic, when most people used the time, the shelter-in-place order to finally pursue their dreams, she was instead exhausted from chasing hers, not to mention the actuality of caring for her aging parents. Girls are taught to grow up and pursue the fairy-tale ending of marriage, kids and a white picket fence. No one ever talks about real life: divorce, infertility and a face red from hot flashes. No one except…Marshanelle Horne APN, Owner and Founder of Thrive Life Wellness Center, Inc.

Focused on prevention and a more proactive approach to “help patients set clear health goals,” Horne and her team want you to well… thrive, not just survive. From A to Z (Acute Care to the Zen of Yoga), they have your health covered. While one of the most popular services offered might be the Weight Loss Bootcamp, the gains of joining the Thrive Tribe are endless. Em discovered this as she joined the online 30 Day Hula Hoop Challenge. With the childlike wonder of a game of ‘Mother May I,’ she questioned whether or not she could do it. To her surprise and nothing short of divine delight, she could…and LOVED it! Turns out it was just what the doctor ordered. Hula Hooping has the following benefits:

1. Burns As Much Fat as Treadmill Workouts
-over 400 calories per hour
2. Can Replace Ab Workouts
-burns belly fat, tones muscles of midsection
3. Strengthens Your Heart
-after 15 to 30 minutes blood pumps throughout body more efficiently, heart beats faster and blood pressure lowers
4. Strengthens Back
-movement releases tension of the muscles
5. Gives You a Massage
-allows more blood to flow to muscles, helps with oxygen supply, makes muscles stronger
6. Works Out Your Brain
-similar to meditation, the rocking and rhythm cause relaxation and deep breathing
7. Fights Anxiety and Depression By Increasing Endorphins
-Em’s favorite, the “hula hoop high” is amazing. It is actually the result of the release of endorphins which make you happy.
(prettysimpleideas.com)

People often go to the doctor to get help. The doctors in turn prescribe pills to give said help. All of the work is external. Marshanelle Horne leads her clients onto the road less traveled, inward. This Thrive Queen, with her magic mirror of sorts, begs the question “Who is the fairest of them all?” challenging you not only to jump rope, hula hoop, kettlebell etc., but to dig deeper, rise higher, and ultimately “obtain and sustain a healthier lifestyle” for yourself. I should know. In the mirror EM is ME.

“I will praise The Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on The Lord. With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because You will not abandon me…”
Psalm 16:7-10

For more information on upcoming challenges, services and products offered, please visit:
tlwcenter.com

*This blog is in no way meant to minimize the seriousness of mental health, nor negate the necessity and benefits of prescriptions in certain cases. If you suffer from depression please seek help and find what works for you. If you’re thinking about suicide, or are worried about a friend or loved one, Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) provides 24/7, free and confidential support.
You are valuable. You are capable. You are beautiful. Your are loved.

I was an anesthesiologist of sorts. Since the shelter-in-place and subsequent boredom I began dulling my pain (or attempting to anyway). My drug of choice? Food.

Now at my highest weight ever, it was no longer just emotional pain, but physical. Everything hurt. My lower back. My knees. My ankles. It’s one thing to have to angle your selfies a little higher (Jedi slimming mind trick). It’s another not to even want to take them anymore. I felt like somebody else. I literally caught my reflection in the car window and didn’t recognize myself. I’d “fish” my clothes on with my feet to ease the bending and pull them up and around foreign, darkened areas (poor circulation). Popping my waist beads was no longer a concern as they are hiding safely under my belly. And while I had new dents in my body, my thighs reached out and touched. I tearfully Googled and discovered I had the lowercase c word, chafing. I heard a strange noise when I was walking–it was me, breathing. I had no energy to do housework or yard work. I feared the cashier at Culver’s, my former math student, calculated how many times she saw me. If you are what you eat I was transgender, somewhere between Burger King and Dairy Queen. Attempts at sleep were an Olympic sport. I had to kick/pump my leg to get out of bed. I was swimming in my own sweat at night. And yet I would lay thinking about what I was going to eat for breakfast the next morning. I felt little fireworks in my heart.
I was fat.

And so on a Tuesday evening I checked myself in to where anyone who is fat should–X Fat Azz Cycling & Fitness Studio. Pounds weren’t lost on me the minute I mounted, but neither was the fact that Reasons by Earth, Wind & Fire was the first song playing. The reeeason? The reason that I was here? Why to look fabulous of course. I would soon learn that this falls short (pun intended) of the real importance of fitness. Oddly enough the class was led by a sister named Toi who wasn’t to be played with. She was firm in her instructions, but fun. Between her, the hype man’s infectious energy and smile, and the variety of good music played it really was a true party. That is until the beat dropped, well actually I did–right on my fat…

I made it all the way through the warm up, the stand ups and sit downs (well some), the side to sides, the turns of the resistance knob…just for my legs to give out upon dismounting. It was the weirdest feeling. You know how people say their legs “felt like jelly?” Well call me Smuckers. The soreness (which I’m sure is normal) persisted over the next couple of days, but so did the light-headedness which is not. A visit to the doctor revealed another first for me other than cycling, high blood pressure. And just like that I broke up with Mr. Culver’s and told Stella Rose we can’t be friends. I won’t lie to myself and say I’ll never have ice cream or a glass of wine again, but I also have to tell myself the truth about my feelings. There is a difference between boredom and hunger pains…and pizza is not a prescription.

I’ve since traded in my doctor’s scrubs for workout clothes. I’m choosing to deal, not dull my pain with morning walks and healthier food choices. The pounds will come off, but for right now my heart…is lighter.

“A joyful heart is good medicine…”
Proverbs 17:22

For more information on cycling classes, please visit:
https://www.xfatazz.com

The weight loss battle by far is probably one of the most common. In addition to looking and feeling better I was literally just having a conversation about how I’m not even enjoying food anymore. I mean don’t get me wrong, I definitely still eat–but it has become more about dulling senses than feeling them. An emotional eater, I eat to avoid dealing with loneliness, fear, and a host of other stressors. I considered it divine intervention then, when an event called Eating For Your Health popped up on my Facebook page.

On a lazy, rainy fall afternoon, nurses Nicole Alexander and Veliscia Hodges gave equally energetic explanations about their commitment to saving the health of our communities. A tag team of information and inspiration, I was so encouraged by this dynamic duo that I decided to join both of their respective online groups and take on VSH Health’s 5 Day Clean Eating Challenge. Five days didn’t sound too long and the meal plan looked doable even for a Lean Cuisine queen like me.

And so I did it. I ate clean for 5 days. I was introduced to some new foods, as well as how to make some old ones in a new way. The side effects, or withdrawals were minimal: slight headache, charley horses, fatigue and irritability. On the bright side it aided digestion, agility, my clothes fit better, and I felt a sense of accomplishment. Most important was the food for thought that I experienced on the very first day. During my morning devotion, I read John 20:24-21:14. Of all the bible passages, it was ironic that this was the day’s particular assignment. It was about a time of fellowship between Jesus and His disciples, a lesson in how spending time with Him increases and strengthens our knowledge of Him. What stood out to me, however, was the passage mentioning that Jesus was preparing a breakfast of, wait for it–fish, one of the main dishes of the challenge! It made me feel like I was in good company and on the right path.

Now I wish I could tell you that I lost 5-10 pounds and that I’m forever cured of eating sinfully delicious sugar. I’m actually down 3.5 pounds and a sugar addict who is taking one day at a time. What I can tell you is that my tastebuds have changed. In a celebratory moment I sampled one of my beloved sweets–only to discover that like reuniting with an ex boyfriend, it just wasn’t the same. Instead I desire a healthier relationship with food.

I’m hopeful in the days and weeks to come, especially as we approach the season of tricks, treats and abundant feasts, that I will maintain my resolve to make healthier nutritional choices. My appetite has changed. I know there’s more. I hunger for better. Like the disciples I want the table He has prepared for me; The One I can cast all my stressors, my cares on; The One who makes all things new. Without a doubt it will make me full.

For more information please visit:
www.vshhealth.com
www.nicolealexandercoaching.com

I don’t remember exactly how I came across Alaiyo Waistbeads, but I won’t soon forget how they brought me closer to it.
The Cross, that is.

I ordered my first beads and the book, The New Fast Girls, in the spring of this year. Along with the awakening of the birds and the bees, the newness of the flowers and the trees–was the budding of my belief in mindfulness. I was “looking to the hills from whence cometh my help,” but I was also searching for connectedness here on earth. “What a friend we have in Jesus,” but sometimes you just want to talk to somebody with some skin. Sorority life had not provided the sisterhood I was looking for, nor men the confirmation I’d craved. So when I stumbled upon this company I thought it was the perfect fit.

I was enamoured by the beautiful pictures of different women– all races, shapes and sizes, seemingly wearing the same smile from this beaded bliss. The more I perused the creator’s social media sites the more I appreciated the ancestral art, was drawn to the geology and captivated by the colors. And so that last Sunday of spring break ended with the hope of wearing my beads by summer. I joined the Chicago Tied Tribe and ordered my first waistbeads: By the Seashore, Yemaya’s Hem and Crown. The first two, with their cool, blue hues and oceanic meanings, would remind me of island beaches and the happiness they bring me. Crown would serve as a self esteem builder, a reminder that I’m royalty.

I stalked the mailbox like Ms. Celie in The Color Purple, “Anything come for me?” Finally, feeling indeed like Christmas, Santa (the mailman) arrived with my gift in hand. But like toys without batteries, there was a hitch. One of my strands was missing, bringing my fashion foreplay to to a screeching halt. Instead the “bored” game of doubt began. I was tired of not getting what I want, when I want it. I questioned whether or not the whole thing was witchcraft, a hoax. So fixed was I on the visual of the beads, how what I picked would make me feel etc., that I couldn’t see the vision. Both my attention and intention were off. Appreciation became an apparition. If not receiving all of my order wasn’t enough, I was told to tie the ones I had myself, turning my hopes of relationship, a cord not easily broken, into a slipknot.

But in the weeks and months to come God began to deal with me.
The Creator unraveled me.
And He who The Son sets free, is free indeed (John 8:36).

When tying waistbeads it is imperative that one have open palms, an anchor, and a willingness to let go of excess. Likewise, in order to maintain my center, to truly stay connected–prayer is essential, I must rely on The Anchor, and I have to let go.

I eventually received Crown, but before then I was reminded that as a daughter of The King, I already have one. It is His garment that heals; His peace that calms the seas of my life. No longer dressed in doubt, I exchanged my grudge for grace. It is a much better fit. Forgiveness of others and ourselves is among a woman’s most beautiful accessories. And yet the beads on my belly are like a bow. When felt throughout the day I am reminded to be present, to open and use my gifts.

Check out Jasai at www.alaiyo.net. She’s selling more than seashells by the seashore.

This year I turn 50.

I don’t feel like it.  I’ve been told that I don’t look like it.  I hadn’t really given it much thought until recently.  I think attending the reunion of my 8th grade class from 35 years ago is what made the even number seem so…well, odd.

I decided to wear yellow, a summery and celebratory color.  It looked good with my tan lol, and also gave me an added premeditated “pop” in the selfies I took with my classmates.  I enjoyed readily recognizing some, and searched for familiarity in the faces of others.  A local restaurant’s garden patio served our adult recess well.  It wasn’t until the wheels on my car went round and round, headed home–that my mind also started racing.  The innocent inquiries of my marital status and automatic assumptions of motherhood threatened to cause a blow out in me before I pulled safely into the garage.  My doubts over what I should have accomplished and acquired in 50 years grew by exponential proportions.

I was suddenly wearing an unflattering shade of green with envy.

If we’re not careful, we’ll get puffed up over the wrong things.  Situations and people can get a rise out of us before we know it.  But God warns us that yeast-filled, or sinful thoughts though sugary sweet, spread quickly and to our detriment.  (1 Corinthians 5:6-7).  We are instead to stay unleavened if you will, getting our sustenance not from self, but from The Bread of Life.  We are to trust in how God fashions our lives (Colossians 3:12).

These 50 years have gone by in a “jiffy,” But I am so glad that God’s patience and love for me are for a lifetime.

“I am the living bread that came down from heaven.  Whoever eats this bread will eat forever.”

John 6:51